QUEER DATING 101: According To People Who Don’t Suck At it

Posted by Damini Mehta
bisexual, she/her

Being queer can be hard enough, and well, dating in the queer world is a whole another ball game. But fear not, fair queers, it’s a world that we shall face with valiance and success (even though gaydars are super hard to perfect sometimes)
Here’s a few tips you can try out while you dabble in the queer dating world :


Dating apps 

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Yes, I know, this is very predictable. But that’s because it works. One of the best ways to meet someone from your community can be through queer friendly dating apps like Grindr, PlanetRomeo, OkCupid and even Tinder. However, please be safe. With every dating app come a list of cases of harassment, and worse, so take precautions before you jump in!

Meeting at events

You might just bump into a lovely person at a queer art exhibition or the pride parade, and hit it off with them. As one of our members said, “I was pretty much done with love, but then enters this gorgeous man who I met at an event; over a period of time of getting to know him, I am happy, I am content, I am in love.”  
Maybe it’s the positivity, or the sheer magnificence at queer events that works magic for most people, who knows? We’re just happy it exists!

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Good Ol’ Instagram 

It might just go down in the DMs, there’s so much scope to queer love on Instagram.  Our founder Ruth weighs in, “The queer way to express romantic interest is to like their 54 week old post on Instagram.” It might just turn out to be the start of a beautiful relationship.

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Be direct

When you do find someone you really like, be direct about it. It might be intimidating (it still is for me and a lot of us, to be very honest), but it makes things much easier to navigate. “As for me asking people out, I’ve never done it because I’m very shy when it comes to approaching people, so I will be reading this article for tips,” says Ruth. Especially because many of us are still getting comfortable with our identity, it feels good to see someone initiate conversations about similar things and similar struggles.
Us queers can be very shy, but hey,that just means less reasons to socialise and more reasons to nap!

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Have a queer friend circle

Queer friends introduce you to other potential queer partners, and set you up with dates. A lot of us like to act as match makers out of care and just because we personally love it so much, you have a lot of chances of meeting potential partners and finding love (and you have a friend circle to gossip to about dates that might be trainwrecks!)

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Dates

Go on lots of dates, being a young queer and going on dates is such a lovely experience. It can be nerve wrecking let’s be real, but once you work through your nerves and pull yourself into the moment, it can be very fun to get to know other people and what makes them unique. Chatting with them about their lives and their journeys, and sharing details about your life is delightful. Brownie points if you discuss the queer agenda and your plans to further the queer rebellion.
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FINALLY…

Be yourself

Queer dating is hard, and it can be super intimidating, but don’t pressured to mould yourself into someone who you might not be. Try to be the best version of yourself – and know your queer is out there, and they’ll love you for who you are, quirks and all.  Soon you shall be a queer power couple sending each other memes at 3 a.m.

It is daunting stepping into something that feels a little unfamiliar, but the best things can happen when you step out of your comfort zone and explore. You’ll learn so much about yourself in the journey, hopefully come out on the other side with a beautiful love to cherish and call your own.  

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One comment

  1. The being direct thing does not work!
    Infact, it often backfires.
    I believe in showing my vulnerable side to men, but often end up getting hurt than loved.
    They start treating you as an option amongst the many guys the encounter through apps like grindr.
    They develop a sense of narcisism and think they can do better than just some below average looking sweet guy.
    MEN ARE TRASH™.

    Like

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